Videogame Movies:SFLC 09
Videogame movies don’t have a great rep, with Dead Or Alive, Doom and Max Payne some of the titles that have been released to critical groaning and little fanfare and those are among the better videogame movies out there.
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)
an otherwise generic martial-arts movie with video-game credentials.
Selling the wistfulness is Kristin Kreuk as Chun-Li, a tranquil concert pianist turned reluctant crimefighter when her adored father is abducted by a Bangkok baddie (Neal McDonough). Prodded by an epigram-loving kung fu master (Robin Shou), Chun-Li polishes her fan kick and fights to save Bangkok’s slum dwellers from the demolition plans of a powerful crime cartel. You could say she gives up her musical career to battle gentrification.
Kristin Kreuk aloft in “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li,” directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak.
Trying to help are a darling Interpol cop (Chris Klein, aiming for De Niro but landing squarely on De Mornay) and a leather-clad detective (Moon Bloodgood) with gold handcuffs, which she stores on her headboard. (Interrogations can be so tiring.) Since these two spend more time fighting sexual tension than chasing criminals, their scenes have a teasing playfulness that the director, Andrzej Bartkowiak, doesn’t overdo. Mr. Klein may be grievously miscast, but he rescues the movie from its overly earnest tone.
Reveling in the vivid Bangkok locations, Geoff Boyle’s photography is crisp and bright, and Dion Lam’s action choreography unusually witty. A restroom tussle between Chun-Li and a slinky lesbian villain is wonderfully inventive and humorously revealing. I always wondered where female crime bosses kept their money.
“Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned).
There are far worse games doing the rounds that make Legend of Chun-Li look like a masterpiece…
Double Dragon
From Terminator to this - it’s been a long fall for Robert Patrick. He’s on a quest to find two halves of a Medallion and unite them so he has magical powers that turn him into a smoky monster or… well, the storyline was way more complicated than the arcade original and made a lot less sense too.
All you needed to know is whenever Jimmy and Billy are in danger, they’ll turn to each other and scream “ARRRRRGH!” It’s every bit as awkward as it sounds. Don’t even ask about Abobo…
Street Fighter: The Movies
Some reviews have claimed Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li is worse than the original Street Fighter movie, which takes some doing. Starring Jean Claude Van Damme as Guile, Kylie Minogue (!) as Cammy and Raul Julia (!!!) as Bison, it’s a really, really bad movie on every level.
It’s almost become a cult film over the years due to its unintentional comedy, such as Guile’s speech (”I’m going to get on my boat and I’m going up reeeever”) and Bison’s “for me it was Tuesday” line.
Bloodrayne
Billy Zane’s character is sitting down writing a letter. Someone enters the room and throws a scroll at him. Billy Zane ignores it and carries on writing it. The other guy then throws a severed head at him. Billy Zane then looks up, sighs and says “will you stop throwing things at me?”
That’s how bad Bloodrayne gets. Uwe Boll’s other films have their merits - House of the Dead was so bad that it was entertaining while Alone in the Dark, er, just wasn’t quite as bad as this. Bloodyrayne also has the most embarrassing sex scene you’ll ever see.
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
The first film was bad, as it swerved around the Resident Evil storyline with as much subtlety and care as a truck. The second film, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, was hideous.
We see lead character Alice develop superpowers (just like the games, right?), which is already a pretty big slap in the face. Yet compared to that, the final battle between Alice and Nemesis - director Paul W.S. Anderson can barely be bothered to disguise the fact that the previously terrifying Nemesis is just a man in a rubbersuit - feels like a full on punch in the mouth. It’s not as bad as some of the other films here but it’s pretty close.
I still watch them again and again though. I love movies. Enjoy!
